Open relationships and lifestyle dating: a beginner's guide

Updated October 2026

Couples who do well in the lifestyle agree on their rules before they join any site. Here's how to start in a way that protects your relationship.

Talk first, then join

Before you make a profile, agree together on:

Why you're interested, and what you each hope to get from it.
Your boundaries, including what's off the table, at least for now.
How either of you can stop, at any point, with no questions asked.
How you'll check in with each other before, during and after meeting people.

Start slower than you think you need to. Many couples begin by just going to a social event or chatting online for a while.

Choosing a site

For events and travel: SDC has the largest listings of parties, takeovers and lifestyle trips.
For value in the US: SwingLifestyle has a low yearly price and a map of clubs.
For a modern app: Feeld works well for newer couples and singles exploring open relationships.

See the full ranking of lifestyle sites, or find clubs and events in your city.

Etiquette that matters

No means no, and so does "maybe." Consent has to be clear and can be withdrawn at any time.
Be honest in your profile, including your experience level and what you're looking for.
Respect privacy. Never share photos or names of people you meet.

Privacy and safety

Use a separate email address and don't show your face publicly until you trust someone.
Choose sites that verify members and hide profiles from search engines.
Meet new people in a public place first.
Practice safer sex and get tested regularly.

Some sites have had data breaches. AdultFriendFinder (2016), Ashley Madison (2015) and 3Fun (2019) all exposed member data. Factor that into where you share photos.